⚡ Terms of Service

1. Overview

Welcome to TekCrate.store, the home of imaginative gadgetry and speculative USB technology. This site is part of a creative network operated by Dark Range Holdings, where e-commerce meets performance art.
By accessing or using this website, you acknowledge that TekCrate is a parody storefront and that no physical products are actually sold, shipped, or warranted.

2. Acceptance of Terms

By visiting or interacting with this website, you agree to these Terms of Service, even if you skimmed them while your Bluetooth speaker disconnected again. If you do not agree, you may leave at any time — though we’ll miss your bandwidth.

3. Nature of Products

Every listing, image, description, and technical spec on TekCrate.store is fictional or AI-generated. They are created to humorously mimic tech marketing culture, not to deceive or transact. Any checkout or payment features are simulated for demonstration and design purposes only.

4. Use of the Site

You agree not to misuse, scrape, or otherwise reverse-engineer the absurdity of TekCrate. You may browse, share, or admire the content freely for personal enjoyment, creative study, or academic satire.

5. Intellectual Property

All text, imagery, and branding on TekCrate.store are original works of satire protected under creative and fair use laws. Feel free to reference or quote them with credit, but don’t resell our nonsense — we worked hard to make it this funny.

6. Limitation of Liability

TekCrate.store accepts no responsibility for:

• Emotional damage from discovering a USB device that doesn’t exist.
• Impulse-buy disappointment.
• Existential reflection on consumer tech culture.
  Use of this site is entirely at your own amusement.

7. External Links

This site may link to other Dark Range Holdings projects or external resources. Clicking them may result in more laughter, confusion, or enlightenment — proceed responsibly.

8. Modifications to These Terms

TekCrate.store reserves the right to modify these Terms at any time, with or without fanfare, confetti, or firmware updates. Updates take effect immediately upon publication.

9. Governing Law

These Terms are governed by the universal laws of irony, parody, and applicable U.S. law. Disputes will be handled through calm emails, good humor, and mutual understanding that none of this was ever real.

10. Contact

For inquiries, clarifications, or philosophical debates about imaginary gadgets, contact:
Email: [email protected]