USB Desk Fan With Existential Dread

Description

USB Desk Fan of Existential Crisis is TekCrate’s masterclass in blending the utterly absurd with the guise of corporate professionalism. It’s designed to look like you mean business, while quietly questioning the meaning of it all.

• Sleek enterprise-grade parody chassis — because why should your sanity have all the fun?
• Connects via USB or Bluetooth to boost your aura of productivity (actual usefulness not included)
• Generates gloriously pointless telemetry data that travels nowhere but your imagination
• Firmware updates that do nothing except spice up the release notes with corporate buzzwords
• One-click ‘Compliance Mode’ dims lights thoughtfully—because every existential crisis needs ambiance
• 90-day ‘Theoretical Warranty’—guarantee nothing, promise everything

Perfect for your desk, your satire collection, or to confuse your IT department. Not recommended for actual cooling or clarity of thought.