Solar‑Powered Night Light For Closets

Description

Solar-Powered Night Light For Closets is TekCrate’s masterclass in turning utter absurdity into borderline art. So outrageously over-engineered, you’ll swear it’s real. Spoiler alert: it totally isn’t.

• Sporting enterprise-grade parody hardware—because why settle for less?
• Features USB and Bluetooth “connectivity” that delivers zero practical use but maximum confusion.
• Streams gloriously verbose telemetry straight into the void (because your data deserves to be heard… nowhere).
• Firmware updates that only beef up the release notes. No real upgrades here, just swagger.
• One-click ‘Compliance Mode’ dims the lights just enough to pretend it’s got your back.
• Backed by a 90-day ‘Theoretical Warranty’—because our promises exist in a parallel universe.

Perfect for your desk, bookshelf, or bewildering your coworkers. Definitely not designed to actually light anything up.