Description
Solar-Powered Night Light For Closets is TekCrate’s masterclass in turning utter absurdity into borderline art. So outrageously over-engineered, you’ll swear it’s real. Spoiler alert: it totally isn’t.
- Sporting enterprise-grade parody hardware—because why settle for less?
- Features USB and Bluetooth “connectivity” that delivers zero practical use but maximum confusion.
- Streams gloriously verbose telemetry straight into the void (because your data deserves to be heard… nowhere).
- Firmware updates that only beef up the release notes. No real upgrades here, just swagger.
- One-click ‘Compliance Mode’ dims the lights just enough to pretend it’s got your back.
- Backed by a 90-day ‘Theoretical Warranty’—because our promises exist in a parallel universe.
Perfect for your desk, bookshelf, or bewildering your coworkers. Definitely not designed to actually light anything up.
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