IoT Paperclip Dispenser Plus

Description

IoT Paperclip Dispenser Plus™ is TekCrate’s ultimate desk companion for those who believe if something’s worth doing, it’s worth wildly overdoing. Equal parts baffling and brilliant, it might actually—just maybe—clip your papers.

• Built like it’s prepping for a Mars expedition, but let’s be real, your stapler still holds the title of multitasking champ
• USB & Bluetooth enabled, because your paperclips deserve to network in style
• Telemetry so detailed, it could confuse your dog into thinking it’s science (spoiler: no dogs were enlightened)
• Firmware updates that shuffle patch notes like a DJ remixing the same track—change is overrated anyway
• One-click ‘Compliance Mode’—watch hypnotic blinking lights mimic deep thoughts and sudden genius
• 90-day ‘Theoretical Warranty’—only valid if you believe in unicorns, magic, or the power of your morning coffee

Ideal for spicing up your workspace, breaking the ice at meetings, or showcasing your stellar taste in gloriously unnecessary tech on LinkedIn.