Description
TekCrate’s Gesture-Controlled Cable Chaos™ is your new go-to gadget for looking insanely tech-savvy while doing absolutely nothing productive. Imagine that coworker who confidently drops tech buzzwords like confetti but never actually fixes anything—that’s this cable in a nutshell.
- Boasts fake USB and Bluetooth hookups so convincing, even your IT team might crack a smile.
- Broadcasts endless streams of indecipherable telemetry data—because why should clarity get in the way of suspense?
- Regular firmware updates that are really just hilarious pranks dressed up as progress.
- ‘Compliance Mode’ dims the lights and blankets your office in an aura of dramatic panic—you’ll look serious, even if you’re secretly laughing.
- Includes a 90-day ‘Theoretical Warranty’—because promise is everything, delivery is optional.
Perfect for dazzling meeting rooms, baffling tech support, or ensuring your productivity stays gloriously low. Warning: won’t untangle your cables, boost your career, or solve problems—unless making everyone question reality counts as a feature.
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